Finding The Silver Lining

Water You turned into wine

Open the eyes of the blind

There's no one like You

None like You

Into the darkness You shining

Out of the ashes we rise

There's no one like You

None like You

CHORUS

Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other

Our God is Healer, awesome and power

Our God, Our God... 

Into the darkness you shining

Out of the ashes we Rise

There's no One like You

None like You.

BRIDGE

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us

And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us

And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?

What can stand against?

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us

And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?

And if Our God is for us, then who can ever stop us

And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?

Then what can stand against?

Then what can stand against?

My heart hurts.

It aches.

I am so grateful for the country that I live in.

For the right to vote. (a right denied so many)

But we made it four years, and we can make it another four.

It just means we are closer to coming Home.

I can't wait. 

Thanks Kristin for keeping it all in perspective.

525,600 Minutes

Rent.
They said it best.
"How do you measure, measure a year"

If I had to measure in diapers I would say 2,928.
(on average that is 8 changes a day!)

Now if you wanted me to measure with laughter, I just couldn't do that.
The joy LilD has brought to my life, our whole family's life is too numerous to measure.

In inches you ask,
I would have to get back to you.  November 2.  Just wait.

In coffee.
600 cups.

In strife.
9 days.  Those 9 days where I had to leave him in the NICU were the hardest days I have ever had to endure.  But those days made me better.  Stronger.

Who would of thought that my little 4lb 15oz baby boy could change my life so much.
I knew that my life would change,
lets face it kids do that.

But I had NO idea.

LilD loves:
His mommy and his daddy.
Memaw, Papa, Grandma and Grandpa.
(Grandpa H and Daniel have a super cool bond, they both light up at the sight of each other)
His Aunt and Uncles.
(pseudo aunts and uncles count yourselves here, you know who you are)
Laughing.
Balls.
Bananas.
Blueberries.
Cheese.
Tortillas.
Chicken.
Sweet Potatoes.
(perhaps I should list what he doesn't like when it comes to food.  That would be a shorter list)
His dogs, especially Goliath.  They entertain each other by running around the living room.  Goliath.  Not Daniel. Yet.
Books.
His ABC app on the iPad.
Bubbles.
Being outside.
Sleeping in his crib like a big boy.
And too many other things to list.

Daniel James, you have changed my life and your daddy's life is so many ways.
You have rocked our world.
God knew exactly what he was doing when he blessed us with you.

You have made days shorter and time more precious.
It's hard to remember what life was like without you.
It seems so normal.
Natural.

I love you to the moon and back little man.  I can't wait to see where life takes us as a family.

I'm Trying to be Better

Ok, let's be honest for a second.
I need to blog more.

I started this blog as a way to document LilD's life.
His milestones.
Everything that we seem to quickly forget when the first year is over.
I don't want to forget.

flashback

I remember starting high school and everyone told me that those four years would be over so quickly.
I didn't believe them.
Then June 2003 came, (wow almost 10 years!)
and I almost wished that it was the fall of 1999 again.

But really, looking back now, I wouldn't go back.
I love where my life is right now.

They say that when you have your own kids that time flies.
Again, I didn't believe them.
Now here we are September 2012 and my LilD is almost 1!!
how did this happen?

My little monkey is sitting on the floor right now as we speak.
Playing with a Harry Potter DVD. its the best 'toy' out there these days. Didn't you know?
He just finished his dinner of a whole banana and cereal.
Oh, and a bottle filled with a mixture of formula and whole milk.

Lady Antebellum has this song out called

Heart of the World

It seems to say exactly what I am feeling.
I'll post it below for you and then go.
My dinner is almost done in the oven.

Wow, I'm a wife, and a mom.

I leave him sleepin' as I rise early
Always up before the dawn
The house is dark, but I see clearly
Kettle sings a morning song
The bacon's frying, babies crying
I soak up the sights and sounds
Minutes turn to days and I wish that I could slow it down

If grease is the soul of the kitchen
And coffee the drink of the Gods
Routine too perfect to mention
Time is a thief I would rob
We're meant to be baby hold onto me
I'll never not be your girl
'Cause love is the heart of the world

Oh, and hope is the soul of the dreamer
And heaven is the home of my God
It only takes one true believer
To believe you can still beat the odds

We're meant to be baby hold onto me
You'll never not be my girl (I'll never not be your girl)
'Cause love is the heart, love is the heart,
Love is the heart of the world

Ten Months and Twelve Days

It seems like it has been an eternity since

<--- this.

And yet in someways it seems like just yesterday.

The day we almost were able to bring you home, the pang in my heart when the nurse said she forgot to check your bilirubin levels and when she did we couldn't take you home.

Were were -> <- that close.

But God and his timing is perfect.

And to think about how much has changed since then.

OhMyGoodness.

That's the only words to describe it.

The greatest of news was we bought a home for you. (yes for all of us but mainly because OF you)

We even went on our first family vacation all the way to South Carolina.

You did better than I thought you would on the plane.  

Thankfully for me (and those around us), you slept 90% of the time, both ways.

You got to meet some pretty amazing people and take a picture few get to.

check it out! 5 generations.

I think that your Great Grandpa really enjoyed seeing you.

And now it's time to start planning your FIRST birthday!

Um, excuse me.

You're not allowed to grow up.

at least not so fast.

Where Has The Time Gone?

10-18-11

6-30-12 

REALLY!

LilD is already NINE! months!?

That's insane.

Granted the newer picture already almost a month old, but you get the idea.

It's hard to believe he has been a part of this world as long as I knew about him in
my belly.  

Well, more or less.

Remember he came a month early, so really he's been in this world longer than I knew about him in my belly.

He is the light of my life and although he came early, in more ways than one, I wouldn't have it any other way.  I know its an over used saying but it's true, I can't imagine life without him.  He IS my life now and the life I had before is a distant memory.

Fun Facts About LilD

He LOVES blueberries.

if he sees them and you don't give them to him, he just might will scream until you do.

He likes to sleep in his own crib with his own space.

no cuddles for this momma when he is ready for bed.  :( but i guess its a good(?) thing.

He's mastering crawling.

at first it was the 'army' crawl, lately he's figured out how to get on all fours.

He's got two teeth, both on the bottom.

 his gums on the top seemed swollen this weekend, maybe more will come in soon.

He loves his dog.

i swear when they play he screams something at Goliath and he comes running and plays with LilD, I like to think that he is calling G by name.

I saw something on Pinterest the other day and I REALLY liked what it said.

for your enjoyment I have included it below. 

Now by no means am I saying if you don't put your kids in timeout you are a bad parent, or that I want LilD to be a wimp but I see so many kids at work and other places that think hitting is the answer.  Real men know how to fight without their fists.  At least that is my philosophy. 

Remember When

It's been ages since I last posted.
I need to get better at this.

While I was on my lunch today and old friend tagged me in a post on facebook that led to her blog.
(if you want to read and follow hers and to see the post I'm referring to click here)
By the way I love her writing style, she's witty and completely down to earth.

A little back story behind her and I.
There's not very much.

We first met in 1996(?) where we sang in choir together.  We carpooled also.   Her family picked me up, we took her home.
Here's a photo of us when we sang in a local mall.
(don't kill me!)

She's circled in pink at the top left, I'm dead center in the front circled in purple.  Weren't we stylin'?

I think we went to Sunday school together before our church got super huge.
When we got into Jr. High we lost touch.
I found her almost two years ago on facebook,
hoped she would remember me,
and sent a friend request.

She accepted.
(hooray!)

We've mainly been staying in contact via facebook and blogs.
(Again, you can find hers right here!)
She had a beautiful baby girl one month before my Lil D was born.
Anyways, here are my answers.

1. What was your dream job as a kid/teen? 

I think that I have always wanted to be a teacher of some kind.  Now being one, even though it's only preschool, I find my dream job would be to just be a mom to Daniel (and any others God gives us) at home.  Maybe working when they are in school, but just for those hours.  Oh to dream.

2. Have you ever played a sport?

Only the ones in PE.

3. What's your favorite guilty pleasure website?

Pinterest hand's down.

4. If you could only drink one beverage for the rest of forever, what would it be?

My newest coworker has got me hooked on Talking Rain's Sparkling Ice.  So yummy, sparkling water that makes me think I am drinking coke? (which I am addicted to and should stop!) YES PLEASE!

5. If you could change your name (or your child's name, I know some people regret their choice), what would you change it to?

I would never change my name, I like it too much.  The only other name I would have given my son was Patrick, and that is solely because we found out we were expecting on St. Patrick's Day. 

6. What is your least favorite household chore?

Putting away the laundry.  I can wash it all day but folding it and putting it away.  I think I'll pass.

7. What was your favorite toy as a child?

Oh goodness, I cant even remember a toy I had to always have.  Does a Nintendo count?

8. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
As long as I'm with David and Lil D I don't care.

9. Siblings, ages, names?

2 brothers

Ryan, 19 (almost 20 holy cow!)

Matthew 15 (almost 16)

1 Sister in Law

Carrie 25

10. What has been your favorite age to be, so far? 

26 was an awesome year, it gave me my son.

11. What is your favorite TV show? (current or not)

Oh I love How I Met Your Mother.  It kept me occupied during my maternity leave. 

If you want to play answer mine and then make 11 new ones for your friends to answer. You can post answers to my blog or your own.  Let's have fun!
Here are my 11 Questions.

1. What is your biggest regret?

2. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?

3. What is your passion?

4. What is your biggest dream?

5. What color is the blanket on your bed?

6. What is your greatest childhood memory?

7. If you could travel back in time and meet anyone and ask them one question, who would you meet and what would you ask them?

8. What is your current occupation?

9. Who is your hero?

10. What inspires you?

11. What is number 1 on your bucket list?

Here's the latest of me and Lil D.

:rumblerumble: BOOM!!

It finally happened.
We all knew this day was coming.
It took much longer than anticipated.

Lil D
Had.
His.
First.
BLOW OUT!

I was the fortunate one (really I was) Daddy was on duty and got to change him.
I heard him yell from the other room that he needed a sleeper, and he needed it FAST!

I got out there just as he was cleaning up the nastiness that went all the way down D's legs and up his back.  And being the smart daddy he is he suggested that we give him a bath.  Yes, it was THAT bad.

And now D is cuddled up with daddy on the bed watching Open Season 2, while I get to blog and get lost on Pinterest.

She Works Hard for the Money

This past week I started a new chapter of my life.


Working Mom.


It's honestly not as hard as I thought it was going to be.
But that may also be because I was so busy fixing things back to normal I didn't have the time to miss D.


But I'm glad(?) for the change.  It gives me back some normalcy to my life.


Gives me an identity.


I just hope I don't miss out on a lot of D's firsts.
Or I at least hope my MIL will lie to me if she sees is so I can be excited about it on my own.  Ignorance is bliss right?


I just hope everything goes smoothly like it did last week.


It's getting harder and harder to live with my parents.


There's just too many people here.


All I want for my birthday is our own home.


More on that as it develops.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Ok, it's time for the cliched New Years post.
Your know the one, about how I tell you my life is so different than it was a year ago, how much I have changed and grown.

But this time, IT'S TRUE!

I still can't believe the blessings that 2011 had for myself and David. It all started one fateful evening in March. St. Patrick's Day to be exact. For a week or two before this I had been feeling sick but I chalked it up to PMS and what I was eating. Never in my mind did I think I could be pregnant. (we werent even trying and the timing in my mind wasnt right.) So I took a test that night to prove some people wrong. Guess who was the wrong one? Not me. When I told David that I had taken a test and it came back positive he was, well let's just say scared. I remember everything about that night. What I was wearing, where I took the test, how fast it came back positive, the disbelief that I felt, the need to get to urgent care and hear from the doctor that I really was pregnant buying prenatals, shaking the bag over the phone to my friend. EVERYTHING.

The pregnancy for the most part was easy, it wasn't until the delivery that we had any complications.

I can't believe that I have been a wife for over a year now either. God has definitely used marriage to teach me more about patience than I ever thought he could. I love my husband and we have our disagreements like everyone else does, but now I can't leave and go to my own house to cool off. It's his house too so we have to work it out and communicate more than we did when we each had our own space. And being pregnant that first year, talk about coach course in patience and communication.

Being a mom has taught me that my capacity to love is far greater than I ever thought it cold or would be. I always knew that I would die for my child's but no one ever really knows what that love feels like until they have a child of their own.

I hope that as 2012 goes on that I will continue to learn about patience and love. How to be a great wife and mother.

I'm looking forward to so much this year. My lil D will have so many firsts and expierenceing them will be nothing short of amazing I just know it.

The Day We Became a Family

Tuesday October 18, 2011

I guess its best to start at the beginning, two days before on Sunday October 16, 2011.  I was having some pain in my neck and shoulders so I told Daddy that we should go and get it checked out.  I thought that maybe I was having some signs of high blood pressure and since that would be dangerous for you it seemed like the best choice.

So we got to the hospital at 2 a.m. and made our way up to Labor and Delivery.  Once I got there they hooked me up to some monitors to make sure your heart was doing what it should and also to monitor contractions.  They had me hooked up for what seemed like forever in that small triage room, and at about 6 a.m. they told me they saw some things that they wanted to monitor further and that I was being admitted.

Sunday went by without any real answers except that they saw your heart dip a few times and they weren't comfortable sending me home not knowing why.  So they wanted to keep me there until at least the morning to see what else may or may not happen. They also did an ultrasound to measure you and to check the fluid levels. During the night while I was sleeping your heart rate dipped again a few times and when I woke up in the morning on Monday they told me again that they weren't comfortable sending me home and they wanted to keep me there for observation.

Monday was a little more eventful.  They did an OCT scan to see how you would react to labor.  They hooked me up to an IV and gave me some pitocin to stimulate contractions.  This was an order placed by the high risk labor and delivery doctor since that is what this situation now was, high risk.  The nurse that was administrating the test stopped the test before she was supposed to so that made the test inconclusive and meant that it would have to be redone the next day.  So they told me to fast at midnight and they would do the test in the morning.

Tuesday morning came and the high risk doctor (Dr. W) came in to talk to me and explained what they wanted to see in the test. If your heart rate didn't dip at all during the test then I got to go home, if it dipped even once I had to stay for observation, if it dipped for two or more of the contractions, then they were going to deliver you that day.  The day seemed to go on forever and the testing never seemed like it was going to happen.  At about 3 p.m. I asked if there was anything that I could have for the headache I was having.  Not having food or water for over 15 hours was draining on my body and not good for you either.  So the nurse gave me a pain medication and as soon as she Dr. G  came in and asked if the nurse had given me the medication yet.  Of course she said she had which then meant that I had to wait another hour before I could do the OCT scan since the medication would make me sleepy and also make you sleepy.  So I made the most of the situation and took a nap.

When I woke up from that nap the Dr. G came in and told me that since I had been fasting for so long that I should just go ahead and eat dinner since they didn't know when they would be able to get to the scan since they were so busy and the test requires on-on-one attention from the nurse.  I was so excited to get to eat.  But that was short lived, Dr. G came in again right as dinner was brought to my room and told me not to eat it.  She also said that during the time I was sleeping I had a few contractions and that your heart rate had dipped yet again and she wanted to go over the tracings with Dr. W.

At about 9 p.m  or so the Dr. G came back, she walked across the room and turned off the T.V.  Inside I knew exactly what this all meant but I was so scared to admit it.  Dr. G told me that her and Dr. W both agreed that keeping you inside me wasn't going to be beneficial to you.  That it didn't matter if we waited another day or another week, your heart rate dropping meant you had to come out and you had to come out now.  Dr G also told me that since you were going to be born before 37 weeks that you would be considered premature, a late term premature, baby and that there might be complications.  The main complication she was worried about were your lungs and if they needed attention then you would have to go to the NICU.  The only problem was, the NICU in Irvine was full and that meant you would have to be transferred to Anaheim.  This scared me and broke my heart, I didn't want to be separated from you so quickly after you were born but I knew also that the doctors had everyone's best interest at heart.

So Memaw called your daddy who was having dinner and getting a shower at Grandpa and Grandma Harrell’s and told him you were going to be delivered that night and he needed to get back to the hospital.

I was shaking the whole time I was waiting for daddy and I shook the whole way to the operating room.  

I got into the operating room at 10 p.m and I got my epidural and just waited a little longer.  I waited for Daddy to come in and hold my hand, I waited to hear you cry for the first time.

At 10:29 p.m that's when I heard it.  The most beautiful sound I had ever heard in my life.  It was you.  You had some lungs on you it sounded like which made daddy and I very happy.  I remember when I heard you cry I looked at daddy and said, "I'm a Mommy." And he replied , "and I'm a Daddy."  We both were crying even though daddy doesn't think that he did.

Since you were born early they rushed you to the NICU for a mandatory observation and your daddy went with you.

They checked your lungs and heart, and they were perfect.  You were perfect.  You didn't have to be transferred, which of course made everyone so happy and excited.  I didn’t get to see you until 2:30am because I was in recovery.  Holding you for the first time was amazing, it made me realize how beautiful life is, how miraculous God is and how crazy it was that just a few hours before you were inside me and now you were here.  You made our lives complete.

It's My Turn To Be Brave

Don't know just where I'm going
And tomorrow, it's a little overwhelming
And the air is cold
And I'm not the same anymore
I've been running in your direction 
For to long now
I've lost my own reflection
And I can't look down
If you're not there to catch me when I fall.

If this is the moment I stand here on my own
If this is my rite of passage that somehow leads me home
I might be afraid 
But it's my turn to be brave
If this is the last chance before we say goodbye
At least it's the first day of the rest of my life
I can't be afraid 
Cause it's my turn to be brave


Tonight's the night.  


Not that night.


It's the night before my last day of work.  I had honestly pushed the thought out of my mind mostly in part because I thought that I would be leaving on the 28th of this month, not the 14th.  Last week I thought that I still had time.  Time to prepare my classroom, time to prepare the families of my class, time to prepare the kids, time to prepare myself.  


From what my boss has said I am ready.  My classroom is in order and the parents have known this was coming.  What I am not ready for, is not seeing those kids everyday.  Sure there are days when I wonder why I do what I do.  It becomes so emotionally draining to on most days spend more time with them then their own parents get the opportunity to.  But, when I hear them say, 'Ms. Natalie, cake rhymes with snake.' Or 'G guh-guh like a guitar.'  I can't help but think, 'Yes this is why I do what I do.'


I was talking to a parent today as she was picking up her son.  I told her, 'As teachers sometimes we joke about how we are glad that we get to send the kids home each night.  Especially after a long day.'  And she laughed and agreed.  But I then told her, 'But the more I think about it, the more I disagree with that.  There are days when something happens with a child that we take home with us.  Whether it's good or bad, and we go home and talk about it with our own families.  So we never really let them go.'  I know that physically we don't take them with us, but we take their memory with us.


The kids invest in our lives just as much as we invest in theirs.


The reality is, the next time I see these kids I will be a mom.  


I think that scares me most of all.  But I know that...
I can't be afraid 
Cause it's my turn to be brave.

Sweet but not Prickely

My lil D Man,
It's hard to believe that you're due to be here in just over 6 short weeks.  I thought that this week I would make two lists for you.

What I Will Not Miss About Being Pregnant

• Having to use the restroom too frequently
• Having to sleep on my right side.  If I sleep on my left side you kick me, a lot, because that is where you hang out.  It's also not the 'best' way to sleep according to the pregnancy gurus.  I also can't sleep on my back for the same reason I can't sleep on my left side.
• Swollen feet.
• Heartburn and Acid Reflux
• The extra weight gain, although most of it is just you.
• Waddling like a penguin, although my cousin Samantha loves penguins, I don't think I make a cute one.
• Being able to stand up/sit down without it feeling like an Olympic event.
• Not being able to breathe properly since you are pushing my lungs up into my ribs.
• Having to wonder what you look like.
• Crazy emotions.

What I Will Miss About Being Pregnant

• Being able to be the only one to bond with you for the past nine months.
• Feeling you kick/squirm/roll on the inside.
• Having you with me all the time.
• The mystery of how you came to be and the amazing thing my body is doing even at this very moment.

I'm sure that there are many more things, but right now my mind is fuzzy and scrambled.  Comes with the pregnancy but I don't mind it as much as other mommies to be may.

Today is Daddy's birthday too.  Don't tell him but he's getting really old.  In two years he's going to be (shhh) 30! (gasp!)  We were talking yesterday about how most people hate the idea of turning 30, but I think that he and I are going to be ok turning 30.  We figured that before we both are 30 we will have been married (of course), started a family (that's all because of you D), and bought a home.  Who cares if we don't have a ton of money, we will have each other and that's all that matters.  Being married, having a family and a home are big goals people set up for themselves before they hit 30 and God willing we will have hit them all.  So our life will be exactly where we hoped it would be.  More importantly it's where God wants our lives to be.  We are just fortunate that His will is what we had always hoped for.  You'll learn more about that later on as you get older.

That's all for tonight.  I'll have to get Daddy to take a picture later and then I will add it to this post.  

By the way, the title of this post may seem off, but let me explain.  You're the size of a pineapple this week.  I'd like to think that this is a special week for us since pineapples are grown mostly in Hawaii and that's where I was born.  Take a look at a pineapple and eat one too and then you'll understand the title.  And did you know that pineapples are grown UNDERGROUND? Crazy I tell you, just crazy.

Love you,

Mommy

Oh How the Months Go By

Darling Daniel,
It's so hard to believe that in just two short months from now you are due to make your grand entrance into this world.  It seems surreal how quickly this time has gone by and how it honestly seems like yesterday we found out about you.  I know that I must say that a lot, but believe me once you get older you will understand what I mean.

I'm still having a hard time adjusting to our new living situation.  It's not what I imagined for you but I know that in the long run it is going to be the best thing for us as a family.  A family, how strange is that to say.  I've always had a family with my dad, mom and brothers, but now I have a family that is my OWN that I am making with Daddy and you (Goliath too, let's not forget him! :))

I have been keeping myself busy with things to do.  It helps to have something to look forward to once a week.  It seems to make the time pass by quicker, but with that quickness comes the realization that there is still so much left to do and makes me wonder if I will have the time to get it all done.  One of my favorite things that I have FINALLY been able to 'introduce' you to is MVHS football games.  You don't know this yet, but you're going to be a Diablo fan through and through.  You'll bleed scarlet and gold.  Daddy and I got you a onsie made see it right there? -->

Daddy and Mommy at a MVHS game with you.

The back says TACKETT, which is my maiden name and your Uncle Matthew's last name too.  You're going to be his biggest little fan I just know it.  (By the way, I think that he is very excited to meet you too.  He has such a kind heart and I just know he's going to love you so much and be so proud to be your uncle!)

I should tell you that we will probably be spending many a Friday nights at the games.  Perhaps even after Uncle Matt graduates.  Who knows maybe one day you will be a Diablo too and we will all come and watch you do one of these things that you see here.

Playing in the band.

Or playing on the field.

Either way Daniel, we will love, you support you, and be proud of you.  I tend to think that you will be musically inclined like your daddy.  Did you know, well you don't so I will tell you, that he was the trumpet soloist for the Star Spangled Banner?  He says that he gave up the opportunity to be drum major because he loved to play so much and loved to show off.  (Perhaps he didn't say show off, he said something else, but I have scrambled egg-preggo brain and I can't remember what he really said.)

Yesterday we took you to the harbor to watch the boats and just relax.  Goliath even got to come, I think that he really enjoyed being able to get away from the house and see new sights.

As a funny side story, I remember I had to beg daddy to get Goliath for me.  Now that he's here and a part of the family I think that Daddy loves him more than I do.  He was so proud to walk him and show him off to people.  He had this strut and smile on his face that said, 'yea that's right, this is my dog.  Isn't he just awesome?'  And yes, you don't even have to ask he did his happy dance.

It makes me happy to see how proud he is of him, because I KNOW that means he will be even more excited and proud to show you off.  It makes my heart very happy and it brings tears to my eyes.  I'm so excited to see the Daddy you make him to be.  He's always so worried he won't know what to do, but I know that he will and once you're here I think you will really help with his confidence in that.

Ok, so today at church.  Man daddy thought this was funny, I on the other hand did not think that it was that funny.  Daddy and I were sitting talking to a friends mom when all of a sudden you thought that I would be fun to stick your foot in my ribs.  At least I am guessing it was your foot because this ball popped out of my right side and stayed there.  It was hard and round.  I told daddy that you had don't it and he jumped up and went over to feel it.  He reaffirmed my suspicions that it was your foot but also told me that it wasn't just your foot that it was your heel.  So we will go with that.  Hopefully this is the case and you are head down already.  I'm just saying that because I am short and you probably don't have too much room left in there to change positions later on.  But we shall see.

My mid-wife says that everything during our time together has been perfect.  I passed my glucose test with flying colors, the blood testing that they did came back in normal range, (she said that for most pregnant women it doesn't) and the best part, my weight gain is right on track.  All in all the pregnancy has been pretty easy.  Just the normal complaints of body aches and pains with morning sickness that wanted to come back for a visit but other than that I can't complain.

I'm planning on stopping work at the end of October to finalize all the small details before your arrival.  Most people don't think that I will make it that far, but as you will find out Mommy is stubborn and I will do whatever it takes and with all that I am to see that I can.

One last thing, here is the most recent picture of us.  32 weeks along.  You're the size of a head of lettuce, which you have been for the past two weeks.

8 more weeks my little D and I get to hold you.  I'm so excited I could pee my pants.  Which happens on occasion since you are sitting on my bladder.

Love you,
Mommy

Cool As a Cucumber in the Hot Hot Summer

26.3

My Dear Sweet Daniel,
So much has happened since I last wrote on here.  First and foremost here is the newest picture of us.  And I should also let you know that you are the size of a cucumber.  I'm not really sure how a cucumber is larger than an eggplant, but we'll just go with it.  You are weigh about two pounds and are 15 inches long.  Finally we are measuring you full size instead of your head to your butt.  Which means you will probably get just a little bit longer and start to gain some serious weight.  Well, at least another 4 pounds.

Currently I'm doing alright.  I will admit that I have been crying a lot more and at what seems to be the drop of a hat.  I blame all the change that has gone on.  Daddy and I moved out of the first place we lived together, a place that was our own, and the place where, well we won't go there.  It was really hard taking down the 'H' monograms that we got for our wedding and had hanging in the house.  My favorite part of the apartment, the mantel thankfully I didn't have to take down.  TiTi and her friend Susan did that for me because I knew that it would make me cry.  Heck I cried when I took down some towels from the bathroom that had an 'H' on them.  I think that the thought that you are going to be here so soon is getting to me too.  I know that as each day passes that it becomes more and more real, and with that comes more and more joy.  And with that joy comes more and more tears.  I've never really been a crier either, so this is taking some getting used to for me.

The other night I was laying with Daddy in bed and Goliath was laying there between us and I started to cry.  I know why I was crying that time, I realized how much I was loving that moment and how soon it would be you there and not Goliath.  If I can love Goliath that much, I can't imagine how much I am going to love you once you are here.  I love you already, don't think that I don't, but once you're here, I know that  the love I feel will multiply 100 fold.

I also cried at church yesterday.  You seem to love one particular song there, when ever the band plays it you kick and go crazy.  It makes me happy that you already love being there.  And as bad as this sounds my mind was wondering at church yesterday too.  About the dedication that I want to have for you.  Who I would like there, the food, and most importantly at least to me the songs that I want played.  Songs that I think will inspire Daddy and I go be good parents to you and to encourage those that will be around you to be the best examples they can be of Christ to you.

Sappy perhaps, but I think its the start of the love people talk about that you can only experience when you are a parent.

Thats all for tonight, I can hardly concentrate with you kicking because of the Yogurtland we are both enjoying and the pain I feel in my back.  A pain that I will gladly endure for the next 90something days until you are here.

Love you much!
Mommy

Eggplant Slacker

Sadly I don't have any pictures for you this week.  They are still on Dad's phone waiting to be emailed to me.  But, you are the size of an eggplant this week.  I knew what one looked like, but I had never seen one in person that I remember until a few weeks ago when the kids at work painted with them.  Don't ask.

I've finally been able to really feel you kick me from the outside.  This really excites Daddy too because he can feel you more now too.  I have to admit that sometimes I get a little mean and do things to make you kick.  My favorite is putting my iPod on my stomach and playing music for you.  It seems that you don't really care for Relient K, but you love classical sounding music.  You went crazy with the Hallelujah Chorus and the title track from the Beauty and the Beast Musical.  You seem to kick me when it has been a while since I/we last ate.  I guess it's something that I should get used to since I hear boys really like to eat.  (shhh don't tell, but your dad has gained all the weight so far, I haven't gained any.  I swear I am trying to though!)

I do have a good reason why I haven't been writing/blogging to you.  Your Dad and I decided after much talk and prayer that we would move.  It's been a crazy time and blogging while on my mind has been in the back of it.  It's just sad for me because this was our first home, and taking down the things that made it personal was hard.  And I know that turning in the keys will be even harder.  I just have to remember that Dad and I are doing this for all of us, and buying a home is the best thing we can do and in order to do that, we have to make a sacrifice.  I will miss just having Daddy and Goliath at home, but I am looking forward to the day when we have our home and you are there too.

Sadly, this is about all that I have to say for tonight, the apartment is messy and my mind is in a million directions.

Mangue or Mango

My Darling Daniel,

19 weeks 4 days

This week sadly I don't have a fruit to compare you to, you are still the size of a mango, or as the French would say 'mangue'.  I think that introducing you to a little française is a good thing.  I took French in school and so did your dad.  I'll admit that I'm not the greatest at speaking or really understanding for that matter anymore.  That's probably because I haven't been using it, so I lost it.  Hopefully one day I can pick it up again and actually remember it.  I will just have to use it, and once you're here I wont be able to blame it on pregnancy brain.


This week was a pretty awesome week.   Last week I was telling you about how Daddy wanted to feel you kick from the outside and how I told him that even I wasn't able to feel you all that much even from the inside.  Well, this Sunday on June 26 that all changed.  I had just finished eating breakfast and had my hand on my tummy on the right side and out of nowhere, my hand MOVED! That's right YOU kicked me.  I knew it was you because where else would that have come from?  I told your Daddy to come quickly and when I was pretty sure you would do it again I had him put his hand on my tummy and HE FELT YOU TOO!  He was so excited that he did his happy dance. :)


I'm getting excited to meet you.  I can't believe that this Friday marks the half way point.  I remember when we first found out how I thought 20 weeks seemed so far away and November even further.  Now, it doesn't seem so bad.  I will be honest I'm not looking forward to the California Summer with the heat, but it's not Florida with heat and humidity so I think that I will survive.  I must pick my battles.  It helps to think of things that are coming up to make the time go faster.  For instance the 4th of July is Monday and that Thursday I have my next doctor's appointment.   After that is a birthday party for Charlie and then Uncle Matt has his birthday.  And somewhere in there we are going to throw a party in your honor.  I can't wait.  There really isn't anything again until August when football season starts for this year, but I love Friday nights at MVHS watching the Diablos play.  I can't wait to hear the cadence letting us know the boys are on their way to the field.  The season doesn't start to me until I hear that.  I guess you can say I do my happy dance then.  I'm anxious to see what you do in my belly with all that noise.  But. I bet you're a trooper and will love it.

That's about it for this week.

Love you tons,
Mom

P.S.
Did you notice we took the picture 2 whole days late?  You can blame dad.  ;)
Oh, and Goliath is back in the picture too.

Hello Baby BOY!

This is going to be a little strange, and yet also very exciting.  No longer do I need to call you my dear fruit, because now, you have a name.  So here it goes.

Dear Daniel,
Yes that's right, you're a BOY!  Your daddy was so excited when the ultrasound tech told us you were a boy.  He did his happy dance.  I promise its just as silly as it sounds, and you will grow to love it just like I do.

This week you are the size of a mango. See, this is a mango.  I've only really had mango when its in a smoothie.  It amazes me how big it is, well how big YOU are.  I still can't believe that I am going to have you in my arms in just five short months.  It makes me excited and nervous all at the same time.

This week I have been able to feel you moving more and more.  Most people say that when the baby moves it feels like a butterfly flapping their wings, but to me it feels like someone has a massager and placing it on the inside of my stomach facing out.  More like buzzing I guess.  It's definitely not something that I have ever felt before and I just LOVE that.  In addition to the buzzing I have felt three 'pops' this week.  TiTi says that its you kicking and that makes me even MORE excited.  Your daddy keeps placing his hand on my stomach talking to you asking you to kick for him.  It's sweet and its hard for me because I have to keep telling him that I don't even get to feel you all the time, so it would be hard for him to.  But soon enough I'm sure you'll be making us gasp when we SEE you moving down there.

Daddy and I went to our monthly appointment and at this one we got to see you and even got some pictures.

I love the way I can see your toes.  And I think you are going to have your daddy's face.

It almost looks like you are waving to us.

 And you may have your daddy's face, but you've got my attitude it seems.

So, thanks for taking something from me. :)

18 weeks 2 days

Before I leave, I just have one last picture for you.

This is what we look like this week.  Sadly Goliath isn't in here. I think the problem is we were TRYING to get him in the picture.  It's when we don't try that he gets in there.

Stubborn just like your mommy.

Love you Daniel.

Mommy

Orange, Avocado, Turnip, and a Sweet Potato

My Dear LO,
Mommy is a slacker.  I haven't blogged in three weeks, so I will do my best to get everything in that happened.

you at 14 weeks

First off, when you were about as big as a naval orange

baked mac-n-cheese

(<----see)  I finally got a little of my appetite back! YAY! But when I say a little, I really mean just a little.  It was enough for me to be able to cook daddy dinner for the first time since, get this, FEBRUARY!  So to celebrate I made one of his favorites.  What is that you may ask, well since I love taking pictures I have a picture of just it for you. (--->)
We had some baked macaroni and cheese and to add a little bit more I put some chicken.  It really hit the spot after not being able to eat for such a long time.  Even now it's a little hard to eat but not as hard as it was in the beginning.  Hopefully this pattern continues that way I can gain back some of the weight that I lost during the second trimester.  (More on that later)  since your daddy wants pictures of us every week I am sure you would like to know what we look like this week so here is your picture for 14 weeks and 2 days.  (We normally take our pictures on Sundays thats why there is always the 2 days in there.  Im sure you were wondering so I just wanted to put your mind at ease.)

week 14.2

Here we are!  Of course your brother had to jump in the picture.  He is such a camera hog.  Ok well not really.  When I try to take a picture of just him, he runs away.  But when its time to take our weekly picture he has to jump in there.

So that was week 14, now its time to get you updated on what happened during week 15.

you at 15 weeks

During week 15 you were the size of an avocado.  I happen to like avocados, but most of the time I just like to eat them when they are in guacamole.  Which by the way your uncle Ryan calls baby poop.  I guess at this point its a little appropriate, then again maybe its not.

week 15.2

Nothing really happened from what I can remember.  I guess that is my fault for not blogging.

So here is our picture from 15 weeks and 2 days!  Again, you're photo hog brother Goliath has made it into the picture.  I know that the belly doesn't look bigger but I swear it has to be the clothes that I wear.  But trust me, its getting bigger.  Not only is my belly getting bigger, but my girls upstairs are starting to hurt really bad.

you at 16 weeks

During week 16 you were about this big, (--->)
the size of a turnip.  Now what exactly is a turnip?  I have no idea. All I know is what Wikipedia tells me and it tells me this:
The turnip or white turnip (Brassica rapa var. rapa) is a root vegetable commonly grown in temperate climates worldwide for its white, bulbous taproot. Small, tender varieties are grown for human consumption, while larger varieties are grown as feed forlivestock.

So there you have it.  You are the size of a root vegetable.  My favorite root vegetable to eat is a carrot though.  I don't think you'll ever be compared size wise to one of those because they don't weigh very much and they are very skinny.

Goliath's first haircut

Ok now we are up to last week.  Finally I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  This week was pretty typical up until the weekend.  That weekend your brother got his first big boy haircut.  Here is an after picture for your viewing --->
Daddy said that I got a new dog and that he didn't even look the same.  Yes he looks different, but he acts the same so we know its our fur baby.  Since Summer is fast approaching it only seemed fair to get rid of the long thick coat he had so he would be more comfortable.  The benefit to the new do is I think it shows his adult coat better and will really help it to grow in.

Now, during this week your TiTi thought that it would be fun to go GeoCaching.

My advice to you now is, if she asks you to go on a walk say no because before you know it she will have you walking to the pier which is 3.5 miles away and not the 1 that she had told you before.

By the time we were done with that adventure my feet and back were killing me and all I wanted to do was go home and fall asleep.  Sadly we couldn't do that because Daddy needed to help Uncle Matthew with a project for school.  I have a feeling that we/he will be helping out with that kind of stuff for a long time.

week 16.2

Alright here is our picture from 16 weeks and 2 days!  Again, you're photo hog brother Goliath has made it into the picture.  But I should put a disclaimer on here, the 'leash' we are using is a makeshift one.  I had to find something to keep him close when we went on the GeoCaching adventure.  Normally I would use the retractable one, but I didn't bring it because we were supposed to stay at NayNay and TiTi's house.

Lesson number 2 from TiTi, I should always have the leash.


Ok WEEK 17!!

Hooray we are all caught up.  I am so happy.  Never again will I wait so long to blog again.

you at 17 weeks

During week 17 you are about the size of a sweet potato
(<---) see!  AWW! Isn't that just the cutest thing?  Well, maybe it only sounds cute because it says sweet.  But what does it matter anyways.

This week was a pretty fun week for the most part.  Your Uncle Ryan had his birthday and he turned 19!  It's hard to believe that I have been a sister for that long. I remember the day that he was born, I wore a shirt that said: "I'm Ryan's Big Sister".  I actually still have that shirt, I can't bear to part with it.

Also this week I had my doctor's appointment to make sure you are growing right.  Remember when I said I hope I can gain back some weight?  Well, at the doctor's appointment the Dr. told me that I was down 8 pounds from the last time I was in.  I told the Dr. that it was hard to eat because everything made me feel sick but I was taking my prenatal vitamins so she was happy about that.  The best part of that appointment was Daddy got to hear your very strong heartbeat for the first time, 160bpm.  Now, an old wives tales tell us this means you are a girl.  We won't know for sure for about 10 more days, but from the moment I found out we were expecting you I thought you were a girl.  Most people around me are guessing that also and a few people are guessing you are a boy.

Yesterday I went and spent the day with Jacob and Eli.  Mommy has known them both for their whole lives, well Jacob his whole life minus 6 weeks.  You'll get to meet and know them.  They are both really excited to meet you.  Jacob says that if there are two babies in my stomach that he wants one for his mom.  I told him I don't think there's two and even if there is, I couldn't give them one but they could love on and spoil as much as they wanted.

week 17.2

Anyways, its time for me to go.  Daddy and I are supposed to be at NayNay and TiTi's soon to go to dinner at The Old Spaghetti Factory to celebrate Ryan's birthday.  But before I go, here is one last picture. (see photo hog again!)  And please excuse his potty that you can see.  Daddy didn't get close enough this time.

Love you tons!

Mom